Sometimes when I put on songs I fell in love with a long time ago but have not listened to in ages, I feel a visceral need to dance, laugh, cry. One at a time or all at once.
I drop into the murky depths of my memories, sometimes too vague to recall exactly. The most tangible thing that comes to me is this feeling, this welling up of…something, that consumes me immediately and takes me back somewhere I’ve lost the map to.
Fanfarlo’s album Reservoir is one of these. I’m pulled back in an instant with the first handclap. Something stirs inside me, but what?
Is it the coach trips from KL to Malacca? Head leaning against the glass. Sunlight alternating with shadow alternating with sunlight. Searing heat alternating with the cold blast of the aircon overhead.
Could it be the feeling of home, or rather a specific kind of home-ness that I can never have again, because in the intervening years we have all moved on to different places and different lives?
Is it the solace I must have found in these songs at some point? An escape from some trouble so far gone, so long overcome, I can’t pinpoint what it is?
And what rabbit-hole did I go down to find this song (or in this case, I love the whole darn album) in the first place? What film, what show, what accidental find?
That’s the magic of music, isn’t it – it’s not just a bunch of notes and instruments that make a nice mishmash of sound. It’s a companion, a witness to a particular timestamp in your life. A kind of time capsule. Or an old friend, that was always ready to sweep you into its embrace. Not judging, just listening, as much as you were listening to it too.
Music, when soft voices die,
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Vibrates in the memory—