Today I learned one thing about myself. My accomplishments are not necessarily achievements. My achievements are not necessarily acts of self-fulfillment. And because I keep running in circles trying to pursue achievements and self-fulfillment at the same time I end up lacking in both, so much so that I don’t really know what makes me truly happy anymore.

Today I also discovered one thing I really want to do in the summer. I have a feeling – this is it. The ultimate. I want to volunteer somewhere where I can work with underprivileged children, and sing with my guitar to them. Brother says- “How are you going to lug your guitar home?” “I’ll check it in,” I reply. And then he suggests, very easily, “Just buy another one at home.” Hmm. I can barely play ten chords and I’m going to own two guitars?! I’m not too sure about that.

Anyway, this mini epiphany came because of two things – first, I had a dream about playing hide and seek with my adorable nephew and I woke up feeling overjoyed for a second before I realised it was all a dream (damn it). Second, I watched The Blind Side. Alright, sue me, Hollywood’s usual recipe of heartwarming moments, mixed with a bunch of cliches, iced with a sugary musical score, actually got to me.

But the outcome is good. I feel a lot better. Time to text father and mother to see if they can contact the Salvation Army in Malacca for me.

In the meantime, I look forward to Krakow (see comic strip above – thank you, Bill Watterson for being the genius you are and making up a big chunk of my childhood) and some self-discoveries.

(There is Dorset – Chesil Beach at last!!! – before Krakow, but until things are all booked, the excitement eludes me)

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