I hate this feeling. My room is a royal mess, much like my head and heart. I wish a particular highly-regarded institution would give me a call soon- good or bad, I am beyond giving two hoots. Just tell me what it is now so I can finally snap out of this dreamlike state and make a decision about how I want things to be. It’s funny how I can really taste how different circumstances can really shape people differently, because right now my head really doesn’t know which way to go. I don’t know what to feel. Once I have an actual decision in hand, I will know.

It still feels like summer camp, like RJ in 2006. It’s funny, really, these recurrences of unexpected parallels between now and two years ago. This constantly feeling of uncertainty about how far to go, of being unsettled, of wondering, of dreaming, of seeing things that aren’t there, then seeing them disappear in smoke…poof. A stark contrast also, in other ways: maybe now I want to love people so much more, and this makes it all the harder to let go.

A good laugh, no? Two weeks in 2008 versus two months in 2006, and everything seems to be taking me down the same road, now compacted. 2006’s drama ended in initial disappointment, but that gradually ebbed away because I found that I ended up with something I had absolutely no regrets about. ❤ RJ (: But I hope, and I hope, and I hope, that this time won’t be the same.

And what now? Am I supposed to pray about this? Is this supposed to be a lesson?

****************

On a funny note (always always welcome these days), Amanda was telling me about how she told her friend, Galriad a.k.a Gal, that she has very little eyelashes so she can’t exactly bat them to look cute.

Guess what he said. Don’t fall off your chair. None of us are liable for this:

Not to worry. He said he heard Apple is inventing iLashes.

OMFG I REALLY NEARLY DID FALL OFF MY CHAIR!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The world needs more funny people like that (: Alright folks I’m off to brood good night!

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