Someone said that, maybe I’m not as devastated as I thought I’d be because I’m too busy to brood, and maybe the dam will break some other time when my mind idles.

I thought that through. Of course it’s not completely false that I would, at some point or other, fall into some bout of depression for a while, maybe a few times over the next 3 years… but I can say for certain that

I am happy with the big picture.

I never thought I’d say this! But I am. Looking forward to Warwick was was really only about Warwick, and nothing beyond and after. I was truthful when I said I wouldn’t break my bond. But whether I’d be happy, really happy, is another matter altogether..I didn’t think about that, they didn’t ask, and perhaps they would have seen through me if they did. I convinced myself that it would be the right path for me, that it was my many-year-long dream about to come true…I suppose I was partially lying to myself, or at least deluded, that the long-term tradeoff would be worth it a 3 year short-term search for emotional exploration and fulfillment.

Some dreams are meant to stay dreams, because there will be better things to come.

So I suppose it’s a good thing that Somebody Upstairs was feeling paternalistic that day and I could say that I do actually feel rather..thankful. Relieved! That my parents will get to go on holiday, and spend on themselves without having to worry (as much) about credit crunches and forex. That I can live a good life, study hard with my best pals a free sms (within the 1000 limit) away, do well, and have flexibility in how I want to mould my career.

All is well. Mubbles is happy. And mubbles believes that love will get us through this, no matter how apprehensive we might feel about the separation now.

So yes, I go with blue.

On to things worth typing about in caps.

AVONNE NIKKI RUTH CAME TO SPEND THE WEEKEND IN KL!!! 😀 😀

Well I didn’t get any shoes or bags, because I have very specific kinds that I want ): but it’s alright, I got nice tees and tops and a dress 😀 But really sometimes I think the best part of trips/stayovers is the lolling and sitting around on hotel beds before bedtime.

Anyway there isn’t much to say, except that we shopped and shopped, I had a great time, and I didn’t get us lost and that is really an achievement okay (though on Sunday night Alex came to bring us around Bkt Bintang so it’s not counted) ! Anyway ): I wish I could do this more often. It’s like combining the best of both worlds! It’s funny how Singapore and Malaysia have always felt like discrete, separate worlds to me, and the three of them coming over was just a great feeling in the sense that…I really CAN have the best of both worlds! And it will always be like that from now on, for the next three years. Okay that didn’t really make sense to you I bet. Haha.

But what I mean is. I’m really glad the three of you came over! I really hope to have more trips like these. Well technically it wasn’t a trip for me but since I was staying in the hotel room too it felt like a trip! 😀

Okay. Much love to everyone (:

Ps: Resolution: I shall familiarise myself with the streets of KL and food places and massage parlours before the month of June ends, I mean it! (((:

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